That photo made me nauseous. Like that rollercoaster I went to in Europa-Park, where I was fearing for the Swiss little girl- who with her German clothes- had the awesome fortune to be seated in front of me. Totally held it in for my sake. Didn’t want to revisit an incident many years ago when my family and I had moved into a tiny apartment after we first arrived in Australia. My sister slept in the top bunk, her head always poking over the edge as she continuously tried to scare me during the night. Chucky, that stupid shit, killed my life. (Once she even took my favourite doll Elise, chopped off her long hair, renamed her ‘Ms Chucky getting lucky’ and got our neighbour to tattoo the doll’s face with those stupid Halloween stick-ons. That thing has been living in my wardrobe ever since.)
Nevertheless, unaware of the concept of physics I continuously tried to spit up at her, only to have the blob of saliva fall in one of my eyes.
Every single f-cking time.
Basically, I was born an idiot. A characteristic that stuck with me throughout my life, regardless of my parents’ hope that slowly withered away to nothing.

